Why Waiting Until Youre Ready To Have Kids Is The Worst Advice Ever

Its no secret that I got married young. And fast. I was 18 when I married my husband and Id only known him for a year. I was immature andnaive; I had no money, job, education, or apartment; and by all traditional standards I had absolutely no business getting married. But Im so glad I did.

While we were dating there were many people who were more than willingto offer unhelpful advice, rude jokes and cautionary tales. Onewomans advice stands out to me asprobablythe worst Ive ever gotten.She told me that no oneshould ever get married and have kids until they are well into their 30swhen theyve gained enoughexperience to be ready for it.

At first it sounds good, right? Dont jump into anything. Be cautious.Wait until youre ready. Wait until youremore mature.

Heres why waitinguntil youre ready to have kids might be horrible advice:

1. Nothing magical happens when you reach a certain age.

An arbitrary ageat which youresuddenly ready forsomething is absurd. We learn and grow gradually and at different rates. Imay not have been very mature, butIhad at least gained enough willingness to learn to be maturethat I could figure out the restasI went along.

2. If youre waiting until youready, you never will be.

When has sitting around waiting for readiness ever actually prepared you for something? We have to actually get ready for things on purpose by working toward goals.When I got engaged I did a lot of reading, praying, soul-searching, class-taking and getting to know my fiance. If you want toready, you have toyourself ready.

3. Even if you dothink youre ready, youre really not.

When I got married I was ready for love and commitment. I was not ready for finances and communication.

When I had my 1st kidI was ready for nighttime feedings and lots of diapers. I was not ready for being tired all the timeand never having a moment to myself.

When I had my 2ndI was ready fordouble the diapers and bottles. I was not ready for bothtoddlers to be running in different directions and for one kid to lock the other in the bathroom.

When I had my 3rd I was readyfor extra cleaning and more juggling. I was not ready for getting pregnant again when she was 4 months old.

When Ihad my 4thI was ready to have two babies close together. I was not ready for her to be born 3 months early and have a 2 1/2 month hospital stay.

When I hadmy 5th,a full 7 1/2 years later, I was readyto start all over again with the baby stuff. I was not ready for having to chauffeur teenagers around all day with a screaming toddlerin the back who did not like his car seat one bit.

When I thought Id have a 6th I was ready to have just one more girl to even everything out. I was not ready forthe doctor to tell me my body couldnt handle havinganymore kids.

Everything Ive ever done in my life that I thought I was ready for, I wasnt. At first.

4. You gain experience by having experiences.

Nothing could have possibly prepared me for what was ahead in my life.And now that Im well into my 30s I have all those experiencesI had them before I was ready.

Better advice:

If theres something youre waiting to be ready for, stop waiting.Actively seek out what it is you want. Make yourself ready. Youll never get where you want to go unless you start along the path at some point.Getting married attender age of 18 and having kids right away is notwhateveryone wants, and not everyone is even willing to start learning maturity at that age. But if I hadnt started on that path when I did,learningas I went, I wouldnt have what I have today: aloving husband, 5 good-natured and hilarious kids, and 30+ years of experiences.

Read more: http://thoughtcatalog.com/crystal-hill/2016/12/why-waiting-until-youre-ready-to-have-kids-is-the-worst-advice-ever/