The Oscars: Everything you need to know (and some things you don’t)

(CNN)So you’ve been invited to watch the Academy Awards with friends and you haven’t seen a movie in the theater since the last “Star Wars.” You know, the one from almost 15 months ago.

You don’t know “Moonlight” from “Spotlight,” or “La La Land” from La La Anthony.
How do you avoid sounding clueless?
    We can help! Here’s a guide — sort of an Oscars for Dummies — that answers even your stupidest questions. Like these.

    When does it start?

    Red carpet coverage starts Sunday at 7 p.m. ET, with the ceremony following at 8:30 p.m. ET.

    What channel is it on?

    ABC. But if you really geek out about the red carpet, E! will begin streaming live coverage on its mobile app at 1:30 p.m. ET. Yes, that’s 10:30 in the morning in Hollywood, when almost nobody is awake. Maybe you’ll get to watch someone vacuum and shampoo the carpet.

    Who’s hosting?

    Jimmy Kimmel. He’s that late-night guy on — coincidence! — ABC. It’s his first time in the gig, although he hosted the Emmys last year.

    What, James Franco and Anne Hathaway weren’t available?

    Ha ha.

    Were James Franco and Anne Hathaway the worst Oscar hosts ever?


    Streaking, or running naked in public, was briefly a thing back in the ’70s, and even the Oscars weren’t immune.
    A male streaker dashed across the stage — and into American living rooms — during the ceremony in 1974, briefly startling co-host David Niven.
    Niven recovered quickly, joking that “probably the only laugh that man will ever get in life is by stripping off and showing his shortcomings.”

    Wow. I’m almost excited to watch the Oscars now.

    That’s great.

    I might even go see “Hidden Fences.”

    Stop it.

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