Gwyneth Paltrow Wants You To Buy The Most Outrageous Items For V-Day

The Gwyneth Paltrow-helmed site, which has recommended a $15k, 24-karat gold dildo and continues to support buyingegg-shaped jade stonesfor your vagina, is either totally trolling us or is just totally out of touch.

Check out some of the craziest items they recommend for guys, girls, couples, and solo yolo fun below:

1. A pelvic floor exercise tracker.

Elvie, $199

2. Packets of this sex dust.

Moon Juice, $20

3. A Prada flashlight for a sexy game of hide-and-seek.

Prada, $260

4. Fur oil for your nether regions.

Fur, $39

5. A bag of crystals from Goops own shaman.

Goop, $85

6. This $507 necklace of ruby-encrusted boobs.

Anissa Kermiche,$507

7. Pine pollen to promotesexual energy.

Sun Potion, $55

8. An incredibly expensive Danielle Steel Dating Game clutch.

Olympia Le-Tan,$1,890