All-knowing Facebook wants to capitalize on your breakup

Image: Christopher Mineses/mashable

If you’re feeling totally alone in the aftermath of a traumatic breakup, don’t worry, Facebook knows what you’re going through. Like, exactly what you’re going through: When it happened, who you’re pining over, and what you’re trying to do to stave off that newly-reignited, deep-seated fear of winding up forever alone.

You know what, scratch that. You should worry. Facebook is using its insider info to coach companies on the best ways to take advantage of your broken heart through targeted marketing campaigns.

The latest entry in the Moments That Matter series on the Facebook IQ page (which gives marketers tips on how to pinpoint their audiences on the site through user data) is all about the best ways to appeal to people mucking through those post-relationship doldrums. The post referenced behavior data from users who indicated they had recently broken up in France, the Netherlands, Poland, the United Arab Emirates and the UK, along with a survey of users across the five markets.

Facebook’s crack research team found that people aren’t always filling in their relationship status with up-to-the-minute accuracy and there’s a distinct difference between being “Facebook official” and actually being together IRL. This is revelatory data, y’all.

There was also an increase in Facebook visits immediately before and after the brokenhearted updated their status to Single, which we can only assume is a result of the subsequent intense stalking of the ex’s profile every hour on the hour not that I know from experience or anything.

The social media platform’s research revealed that recovering lovers depend on social interactions to cope with the sadness. More than three quarters of respondents agreed that connecting with friends and family during the recovery period “was more important” than at other instances in their life like when they spent every single waking moment with that one special someone and let their other relationships wither. Not to point any fingers, of course (you know who you are already).

Of particular import for marketers was the news that people don’t just want to buy new stuff to help them forget their emotional trauma they want to actually run away from it. Data shows that users exhibited a 25 percent increase in travel-related purchases after changing their relationship status thanin the month before the announcement.

Jokes on you, travelers there’s no outrunning a broken heart!

So what are the real takeaways here? Facebook advises its marketers to take advantage of the moments after a breakup, sliding into their newly-single lives as “part of the journey” to recovery. Essentially, the goal is to fill the void in their broken hearts with a heaping helping of consumerism.

My advice for the brokenhearted? Maybe unplug for a while if you can. Don’t let Facebook and its cadre of brands swoop in and take advantage of you on the rebound.