We got through the Republican National Convention, now it’s just one more week until we’re officially in the race for the White House. There’s just one more candidate to nominate.
The Democratic National Convention will gavel in on Monday afternoon, where Hillary Clinton and Tim Kaine will likely be nominated at the Democratic party’s nominees for President and Vice President of the United States, respectively.
There will be speeches. There will be celebrities. There will be flag pins.
We hope there will be so much more.
1. Tim Kaine does a harmonica solo.
2. Tim Kaine and Bill Clinton do a harmonica/sax duet.
3. Bill Clinton shares his best vegan recipes (yes, he’s a vegan now).
4. Hillary rips off some sassy one-liners.
5. Elizabeth Warren lays down some killer Trump puns.
6. Elizabeth Warren challenges Trump to a rap battle.
7. The Curb Your Enthusiasm theme plays as Bernie Sanders comes on stage.
8. Lin-Manuel Miranda writes Elizabeth Warren, Tim Kaine, Hillary Clinton and Bernie Sanders a devastating hip-hop medley.
9. Unlike the RNC, someone talks about policy.
10. Bernie Sanders shouts, “THIS ISN’T OVER!” And does a stage dive.
11. Again, teens flood the convention looking for Pokmon.
12. Beyonc performs a spectacular new hit dedicated to our new, all powerful gynocracy.
13. A video tribute to menstruation. Deal with it.
14. Hillary ends her acceptance speech by saying “Hillary OUT!” and dropping the mic.
15. A synchronized dance number
16. Hillary reveals herself to be a benevolent robot, hoping to bring peace to us humans.
17. In the name of transparency, Hillary reads every ecard, chain letter and intra-office meme she sent between 1996 and 2013.
18. Hillary changes the game by wearing a crop top instead of a pant suit
19. There is a sketch starring Jimmy Fallon.
20. Bernie Sanders announces his next move as KFC’s new spokesperson, Colonel Sanders.
21. Nobody mentions emails.
22. Larry David stands in for Bernie Sanders.
23. Bernie Sanders paraglides into the convention stadium.
24. Bill Clinton announces that he, Obama and Chelsea are forming a band and touring the country.
25. They are called Barry, Willy and Chels.
26. Obama challenges Hillary to a game of rock, paper, scissors for the presidency.
27. Tim Kaine sings a heartbreaking ballad called, “I’m Only A Little Bit Boring.”
28. It’s actually just Obama in a Hillary mask.
29. Joe Biden kisses Tim Kaine to transfer is Vice Presidential powers to him.
30. Hillary’s acceptance speech is only 15 minutes because she knows some of us have to be up in the morning. Keep it short and sweet, Hill.
31. Al Gore talks about whales for 45 minutes.
32. Kate McKinnon stands in for Hillary for the duration of the convention.
33. Hillary’s speech is annotated with GIFs.
34. Bernie Sanders turns the tables by impersonating Larry David.
35. Elizabeth Warren stands up and says, “Screw it, I’M running for President,” and the crowd cheers.
36. Russia will hack into the screens, showing Season 4 of The Americans
37. Trump will somehow appear on stage every night.
38. Obama will spend most of his speech talking about all of the mystery novels he will read once his term is over.
39. In an effort to appear cooler, Tim Kaine will wear sunglasses for the duration of the convention.
40. Bill Clinton relieves his ’90s glory by giving his speech wearing a choker and a flannel shirt tied around his waist.
41. Someone please just admit that climate change is real.
42. Lenny Kravitz appears on stage as 90 percent scarf.
43. Nancy Pelosi and Stephen Colbert do a hilarious presidential version of “Who’s On First?”
44. No one utters the phrase “All lives matter.”
45. The Wyoming delegation, who play Pokemon Go as Team Insight, gets into a big fight with the Michigan delegation, who are Team Valor.
46. People spend the entire convention trying to decide where they’ve seen Chlo Grace Moretz.
47. Debbie Wasserman Schultz is nowhere to be seen. At all. For the entire convention. Please just stay away.
48. Everyone watches The West Wing for four days.
49. Unlike the RNC, Democrats will actually talk about their candidate in speeches, rather than the opposition’s.
50. Peace on earth and good will towards men and women.